“Hi my name is Shana I’m 27 years old with a 2 year old. Where to start? My body issues probably started when i was younger. I was sexually abused at a young age and i used food as a coping mechanism. I used it as a shield to protect myself. I didn’t want to be stared at I didn’t want attention on me. I barely wanted to exist. That was a really dark time for me in my life. It is something i try to never forget but i have become a stronger person because of it.
I remember when i was younger me and all of my cousins went walking around and we had our bathing suits on. Someone made a comment about me cause i was in a two piece. I cant remember the words this person used, but I remember how i felt. I remember feeling ashamed of my body. If someone else thinks this of me it must be true. Another time i was at a camp and a family member made the comment “Shana is too big for a two piece go put a shirt on” Once again if a family member said it, it must be true. Someone other then myself made me feel ashamed of my body and myself. I gave someone else that power.
My insecurities definitely were the cause of some failed relationships. Especially with myself. I was my own worst enemy. I would be in these awful abusive relationships and think to myself I deserve this treatment. My self worth was nonexistent i let other people control how i felt about myself.
Thinking back on it now i feel so sorry for that girl however that was my journey. I wouldn’t trade anything that has happened to me it has made me who i am today and brought me to my son. I may have brought him into this world, but he brought me life.
Life is such a beautiful disaster. Life is way too short to feel like you’re less than your worth or giving other people the power over you. Everyone has flaws everyone has doubts. I cant stress this enough. YOU ARE STRONG! YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOU DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS THIS LIFE HAS TO OFFER.
This session has brought me so much life. Has brought me to tears. I am so proud of the woman i have become despite my past. I made my appointment way in advance. I told myself i was gonna lose the weight and get some more tattoos yadda yadda. I didn’t lose the weight… plot twist, i didn’t care. I am a strong beautiful woman and a number has no bearing on how i feel about myself. I am not ashamed of my body and who i am and no one else will ever have the power to make me feel ashamed. I have been through hell and back and this body has been there for everything.
Treat yourself with love and kindness. If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, don’t say it to yourself. You are important!
Any reservations about a session throw them out the window. Do IT! Show yourself off. Show yourself how beautiful of a creature you truly are.
P.S I am also a proud owner of a two piece :D